‘It’s strange isn’t it. It’s like Edgar Allen Poe crawling on his belly except I was on all fours. The dog pleading for it’s supper. That is what emotional abuse is. That is what it feels like to be reduced in size by someone who is supposed to love you. Maybe they did once. I don’t know, probably not. They spotted a defect, a chink in the armor and went to work.’
‘They loved the meal ticket didn’t they. Make sure she stays small, if she gets any bigger she won’t fit in this box, this cage we have created for her. So expertly done. Slow and sneaky let me tell you.’
‘You know that story about the captive that grows to love her captors. Needing approval so they are not sad, that was me. It was manipulated mind control.’
Didn’t you get sick? ‘Yes, delirious really. There was truth in the delirium though. I saw through the game. I saw through the contrived prison of my life. It was like the sea parting with the suns rays. I felt that sun on my face. I felt a peace come over me.’
Why were you sick, what was wrong? ‘Some sort of virus. If I had been a healthy weight to begin with, it wouldn’t have been quite as bad.’
Why so thin? ‘It is what I could control.’
Couldn’t you just leave? ‘That’s what emotional abuse does. It takes your power away. It makes you feel like a simple ameba. Alone and vulnerable… and dirty. But, the delirium brought me clarity. I told them they had two weeks to get out. Both of them, just go. They freaked out big time then acted all sweet and caring. “We’ll go but let’s get you better” bullshit, here, here’s some soup.’
Did they put something in your food? ‘Yep. Yeppers, sure did. Assholes. Shitheads. Fucking fucktards. For real, how could I have been so stupid!’
Like you said, it was a game of manipulation and mind control. ‘Ya, well, lesson learned. I will never give my power away again, like ever.’
Where are you now Brittany? ‘I’m still in and out of my life review because I just don’t get it. How do you get everything you want and still get nothing and die sad, so sad? Tell me that one will you.’
It’s about self love and forgiveness. It starts with you. Love yourself enough to forgive firstly you for perceived mistakes. Then you have to forgive others that have caused you harm. This does not release them of their actions, their karmic consequences but it sets you free. Why allow them to continue to control you? The sea parted. The sun has dried the seabed. Take that first step, follow the path that has opened up just for you. Release those binds, set yourself free. You are your own savior now. ‘I am? I am… I am.’
‘I am.’
Yes, You are. ‘I am. I am ready now.’
‘I am ready.’
Channeled message from Brittany Murphy. Brittany Anne Bertolotti, was an actor and singer, born November 10, 1977 and died December 20, 2009 at just 32 years old under suspicious circumstances. Adam White stated that, “The actress was small, but magnetic, with the ability to seem completely approachable and terrifying. She had a big, bawdy laugh and acted with a manic mood mixed with breathless disbelief that things turned out so well. She was the equivalent of dancing in your room to the Spice Girls song, or crying out loud at the end of a party after too many drinks.” Love and peace to you Brittany, love and peace.