Anthony Bourdain

Hi Anthony. ‘Hi.’ Thanks for coming to talk to me. ‘I’m not doing anything else so there’s that.’

 

Is there anything you want to talk about? ‘I always want to talk just not with everyone. You, I like your vibe, I’ll talk to you.’

 

I like your vibe too. We miss you over here. I loved your sarcasm and the way you wrote and looked at the world. ‘It was a lot. It became so big that it became isolating.’

 

What would you have done differently? ‘I don’t know. I mean, I loved my life, I really did. I just needed another me to carry the load, to pick me up when I was down. When it got dark it was balls and ass deep dark. That’s fuckin’ dark. Real fuckin’ dark.’

 

What did you need that you didn’t get? ‘Love, comfort, acceptance.’ From who? ‘From her.’ Asia? ‘Yes.’ How do you feel about that now? ‘Hurt, unresolved, raw.’

 

Can I help you with that? ‘Like how? How the fuck how?’ You have to want to let it go. You have to want to loosen the noose around your neck so we can take the rope off. You have to want it. ‘I do, this is hell. I moved from one hell to another.’

 

Where are you Anthony? ‘I’m in a holding pattern.’ What does that look like? ‘Shit. It’s like a rubber cell except everything is gray.’ Do you see outside of it? ‘No, I can’t find the door either.’ We have to create the door together. ‘Alright, I’m ready, let’s go.’

 

You have to forgive Asia. ‘OMG. Fuck.’ (He runs his hand over his forehead and hair.) I need you to trust me Anthony. ‘Shit.’ (He sighs.) ‘Ok, ok.’

 

I want you to repeat after me. “Asia, I sever all karmic ties to you. I cut the cord. I forgive you and I release you.” Good Tony, keep going. “I forgive my human limitations. I forgive myself. I am creation itself. I am love. I am comfort. I am acceptance. I am all things. I am.”

 

What do you feel? ‘Ease. Like the guava when it numbs your throat.’ What do you see? ‘There is a line of bright light.’ That is your door. Are you ready to take it? (He smiles.) ‘I’m a little scared.’

 

Take your time. (He’s overcome with emotion.) ‘I’m good, I’m good. I am good, I really am. Wow. I mean, how the fuck. Are you kidding me?!’

 

Take the door Tony. I send you love and peace. ‘I love you for that. I fuckin’ love you for that. Thank you. Man!’ (He shakes his head, he’s smiling.)

 

 

 

Channeled message from Anthony Bourdain, 1956-2018. Anthony was a writer, celebrated chef and actor in his travel documentarians. He not only celebrated food but also the human condition by interweaving both in a sort of dark poetic way that brought the light in. Anthony wrote both fiction and historical nonfiction. While on location filming for Parts Unknown, Bourdain, in a complicated relationship, ended his life by hanging in his hotel room in France.