He took quarters out of the Aldi shopping carts, the ones the shoppers pay a quarter to use then get back when they return it. I love leaving my cart and my quarter for someone else to use. It is a very small act that makes me happy. Maybe someone doesn’t have a quarter and would have to go into the store to get change, I’ve done that. Or, maybe it saves someone a few steps when they need to use the cart to lean on, I’ve seen that too.
I needed sourdough bread and eggs a few weeks ago so I stopped in to shop at Aldi. When I was leaving, I left my cart near the outside front door as I usually do. He beelines across the street and proceeds to push the cart over to the other carts and takes my quarter. Who does he think he is! That’s pretty bold. He stands across the street from the front doors holding his cardboard sign and begs for money. Then he steals the quarters from the grocery carts people leave out for other shoppers. I don’t like it. It just doesn’t seem right and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to get it out of my head all week.
A week later I stop at Aldi again. I tell myself that if he is here I’m going to ask him to borrow a quarter. It’s okay. If he gives me one I will give him a few bucks back on the way out. Kind of like they do on those Tick Tock videos but on a much smaller scale but he wasn’t there.
Now, I cut to yesterday. He is pushing three carts in and taking the quarters as I’m walking up to the front of the store. I don’t like it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s almost like he is taking away one small thing that brings me joy. I shop. I pay. I push my cart in but I leave the quarter. He is watching me and continues to watch me the entire time I cross the street. It’s as if I move in slow motion. This is not a normal stare either. This stare is speaking to me. I hear, ‘Are we really so different?’ I don’t like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
This feeling stays with me all night. Am I judging this man, I didn’t think so but maybe I am. What is this uneasiness trying to tell me about myself? What aren’t I seeing? I say aloud, “Please forgive my judgement, forgive my giving that was not freely and joyfully given.” I hear, ‘It is not ours to forgive.” I know what that means too. I am my own judge. I judge my own actions. The discomfort was there for me to learn from.
I say aloud, “Who is this man looking at me?” I hear, ‘Your Angel Gabriel, for he knows your true heart. A lesson well learned is it not?’ It is a good lesson too. I unwittingly pushed that cart in as if to degrade him, to begrudgingly give him that quarter. In truth, no, we really aren’t so different. I am you, you are me. We are all of the same cloth. He has chosen his own path as have I. We all have our own lessons to learn. I am thankful for this opportunity to learn more about myself and grow and even more thankful to recognize the lesson in the discomfort.